Who says a band has to get along to make beautiful music together? Groups like Van Halen, Deep Purple, Rage Against the Machine, and The Police all had internal problems yet were very successful. For every group that manages to put aside personal differences in pursuit of the common good, however, there's another that falls apart before they hit their stride. Remember Kingdom Come? Probably not. After two acclaimed albums, internal conflict caused these would-be heirs to Led Zeppelin's throne to split up. And even the most successful bands can be brought down by bad blood between musicians — the Beatles are the classic example.
Why does this happen so often? Well, for one thing, music-making is a highly personal activity. Musicians, like any other creative artists, are prone to hurt feelings and intense conflicts between one another. Clearly, when you put a group of strong egos together, clashes are bound to happen.
Apart from that, many bands develop tensions once a career really starts to take off. Success adds more pressure. The importance of commitment is heightened; difficult decisions must be made about musical direction, who gets the spotlight, what gigs to accept, and whether to replace or add personnel.
THE BAND THAT PLAYS TOGETHER
Making music in a band setting is, for better or worse, a social activity. Being able to get along as people as well as musicians is vitally important. That doesn't mean that everyone has to be best buddies — it's well-known among musicians that a certain amount of personal tension can be a productive creative force.
Some musical situations, such as recording sessions, don't necessarily require a lasting partnership dynamic that goes beyond the music-making itself. But as far as being in a band is concerned, forget the record company myths: it can be a struggle. You become a part of a family, and, as in any family, friction occurs as a matter of course.
PURPLE IN THE FACE
Consider the problems encountered by the veteran rockers Deep Purple. The band was plagued by clashes between vocalist Ian Gillan and guitarist Ritchie Blackmore. During one chaotic European gig in the early '90s, hostility between the two spilled over onto the stage, causing the band to suffer some embarrassingly unprofessional lapses. Gillan forgot his words and missed cues, while Blackmore played only when he felt like it. It was as if they wanted to highlight each other's mistakes rather than cover them up.
Soon after, Blackmore left without explanation, forcing his former colleagues to recruit Joe Satriani just in time to fulfill further touring commitments. (On his official Web site, Blackmore says he left because he was “not pleased with the performance of Gillan.”)
Purple's bassist Roger Glover has often spoken about the difficulties he had working with Blackmore. In particular, Glover feels the brilliant guitarist's inability to compromise was a major problem, and he identifies lack of communication as the key culprit. Blackmore, Glover has said, preferred to speak to bandmates through his management. This highlights a common problem: the inward-looking focus of many musicians can be detrimental to open communication with others.
THE RIGHT CHEMISTRY
Assembling a band that's both musically talented and able to get along is never easy. If you ignore personality issues and look only for musical talent, the result can be a volatile, unstable group.
However, if you choose your bandmates mainly because you like them, you may end up with some good friends, but not necessarily a good band.
Rik Emmett, the virtuoso Canadian guitarist and songwriter and former front man of Triumph, takes up the point. “My own personal preference would be to seek balance — and to have a professional working attitude that could tolerate some tensions and ego/personality/character conflict, because nobody wants to be in a creative collaboration with the Stepford Wives. I like to be challenged occasionally. I like a bit of friendly competition. I also know that I'm far from infallible, and when I'm in danger of being wrong, it's good to have people about who are strong enough to say, ‘Hold on, chum, you're heading off into left field.’”
Psychological findings bear that out. Groups of diverse, complementary personalities tend to function better. That helps prevent group members from seeking agreement for its own sake, which can be counterproductive in a musical context. Somebody should always feel able to play devil's advocate without the fear of getting fired. Take, for example, the variety of characters in the Rolling Stones: Bill Wyman was always respected but was never best buddies with Jagger and Richards. Or Black Sabbath: for years, Ozzy Osbourne and Tony Iommi had a fractious relationship. And, of course, the Beatles: Lennon and McCartney are perhaps the classic example of an explosive yet highly creative dynamic.
YOUR FIRST DATE
Although the dynamic within each band differs due to the varying personalities involved, there are common factors and lessons to be learned. Let's look first at what you experience when joining a band. In that situation, one of the challenges you face is to break down the barriers that stand between you and a bunch of strangers. It's easy at first to get stuck in a state of artificial politeness. Think of it the way you might a first date: you want to develop the relationship but not put too much pressure on the others to reciprocate. After all, you could be trying to get to know someone who's had a bad time. So focus on the present and the future.
One of the best strategies for drawing people out without driving each other apart is to flatter a few egos. Take some time to understand who your group mates really want to be, and give them the room to express that. Socializing together can help. It doesn't matter if you find that you don't share the same outlook on life. What's important is that people reveal enough for others to know how to relate to them.
THE CONFLICTS BEGIN
Difficult as the initial period can be, things really get dicey once you've become comfortable with your bandmates. As people become more familiar with each other, they become less inhibited about expressing their opinions, and opinions can be raw, provocative, and not to your liking. It's a vulnerable time, when all kinds of musical and nonmusical differences will appear. How do you make them work in the group's favor? Conflicts will clarify points of view, so don't avoid them. What's important is how you deal with the dissent. If you turn your back on a problem by deciding to ignore the source of your irritation — as Blackmore allegedly did by communicating through a third party — it can make matters worse; your imagination will run wild and you can end up demonizing the other person.
If you know how to have an argument, however, you can stop situations from boiling over. If you're prone to anger, stand back; don't get in a person's face. Keep your voice volume low and avoid a contemptuous tone. Be careful what you say. Careless statements, especially when perceived as personal attacks, can cause a disagreement to escalate out of all proportion.
Try to stick to the matter at hand and don't see the problem in black-and-white terms — right or wrong, win or lose. Human problems aren't as simple as solving a math problem; they have many shades. Be measured and moderate with your language by avoiding exaggeration. Imagine if somebody yelled at you during a rehearsal: “Why do you never get that part right?” The thing you're going to latch onto is the word “never.” Arguments need only the smallest morsels to sustain and multiply themselves, so don't let them. Remember, above all, that your strength is as a band — a team.
The burden of excessively high expectations can create conflict. If you approach an important gig assuming that things will go perfectly, you're setting yourself up to experience a lot of frustration and anger if they don't. Similarly, if you are on the cusp of a record deal, don't let yourself become preoccupied with visions of a fantastic new lifestyle.
DEMOCRACY ROCKS
Being part of a band involves a long list of important decisions — what sort of stuff to play, what gigs to accept, the order of tunes in the setlist, how to market the group. It's important to be democratic on issues facing the whole band. Healthy groups ensure that everyone has a say on important points.
Sometimes that's easier said than done. In small groups there's always a tendency for some people to sit back while others dominate. This can cause problems. If people are excluded from basic decision-making — such as making a setlist, for instance — eroded self-esteem, resentment, and apathetic performances can result.
When making group-based decisions, be considerate of individuals' personalities. There's no point putting quieter members on the spot in a group situation, like your old college teacher used to do. Instead, take them to one side. Respect the fact that they are more comfortable in one-to-one situations. If necessary, speak up on their behalf in meetings. A democratic atmosphere will also create the impression of unity, which will help your cause when talking to managers, promoters, or record companies.
SOME LEAD, OTHERS FOLLOW
Of course, it's not unusual for a band to have a leader, or a person who is comfortable as a spokesperson. Effective leaders often emerge from within a group, learning the ropes and then developing their own styles. If they are to add anything positive in terms of the group getting along, however, they shouldn't be too domineering. They should try to be sensitive to the needs of each member.
When musicians are hired simply as side players, the potential quagmire of adverse personal relationships becomes far less of a concern. However, many players find these situations frustrating because they don't offer the creative involvement that bands provide. You have to accept a very different dynamic: the leader is the star attraction; you're in a supporting role. But always remember this: you're the one who's helping him or her to shine.
A leader should work to create an atmosphere in which people feel they are working with others, as opposed to for them. Sting had a now famous concert scheduled the night of September 11, 2001. After the day's tragic events, he felt uncomfortable about playing. However, rather than making a solo decision, he called a band meeting to ask how his musicians felt. With their input, he decided to go ahead with the gig.
WOES OF THE ROAD
Understanding how to put up with each other is particularly important if a group is to survive the rigors of the road. The non-musical aspects of touring — always being with the same group of people, rootlessness, and boredom — can be a toxic combination and can give rise to an “anything goes” atmosphere. It's not surprising that having a bust-up on tour is a fairly common occurrence.
Rik Emmett has had more than his fair share of problems on the road. Touring is, he says, an existence full of “stale routines and disconnection … a hazy dream world of ‘What town is this? What day of the week is this?’” He paints a vivid picture of the stresses and strains of life on tour.
“People get their body clock routines screwed with,” says Emmett. “Lack of sleep, or displaced sleep times in foreign circumstances — for example, in a noisy hotel room with a rock hard mattress in a completely different time zone than you were in this morning; improper diet and weird meal times; lack of exercise; long periods of time sitting in planes, trains, and automobiles, lounges and hotels.”
Such stresses can sabotage relationships. According to Emmett, the longer musicians work together, the more difficult it is to keep personalities out of the equation. Personal compatibility is clearly more important for musicians in touring situations.
So what's a road musician to do? In addition to trying to stay fit and eat as healthfully as possible, one remedy for all the stress is to bring along some reminders of home and to make a point of contacting family and friends regularly while away. It also helps to avoid an overly routinized existence. Emmett agrees. “Go off for lunch with the lighting designer instead of sitting in the hotel coffee shop with the same people from the band like you've done every day for the past week.” he advises.
GOALS AND ROLES
But whether you're a touring act or just a local band just trying to get started, it's helpful to set some clear goals. No matter how small these are, they will help everyone focus on doing whatever it takes to meet that commitment. As long as they are specific and challenging, goals help people to shape their behavior and, ultimately, get along better.
For instance, if you're a new band, it can help immensely just to book a gig so that you have something to work toward. It doesn't have to be a prestigious venue; just a low-key local bar will suffice. The point is to have a common goal to strive for together.
THE BAND THAT PLAYS TOGETHER
Getting along offstage will ultimately enhance your onstage success. According to Emmett, “It's definitely about respecting each other's ability to do a job and trusting in that. It's about becoming fearless, unconscious of any possible failure, flowing in the moment. Anybody who has ever seen a sports team gain the momentum in a match knows what I'm talking about. Everybody's doing their gig and locked into each other.”
That empathy and trust grows out of the style of communication people use with each other. It's important to give and receive praise — to have someone, after an inspired musical moment, look you in the eye and say they're proud to be working with you. It gives you both a boost.
Eventually, though, the fact is that even the best collaborations can come to an end. It happened to Lennon and McCartney, so it can happen to anyone. By paying careful attention to how you relate to your bandmates, however, you can help reduce the tension in your group and concentrate your energies on making great music.
